Tuesday, November 6, 2007


I have tried to keep my memory of you
Filled with what was best about us.
Warm breath on the mourning pain
Melting away any bitterness
left untouched by idle worship.

So when you came back yesterday,
I wanted to push you away,
because it meant that I would have to destroy
the you,
I’ve come to love.
The you
who stayed.

In the restaurant you were unrolling your napkin full of silverware,
And I watched you with the same speechless joy
I would have had,
Were I given permission to be near Michelangelo
watching him untie a roll of muslin
where he keeps his beloved chisels
and selecting
just the right one.

You began stirring even before you began pouring.
Steam was climbing up the pillar of cream,
With the same wispy arms and legs,
as the last words you spoke to me,
in the cold night air
so long ago.

I will never forget the sound of your voice back then-
Every word wrapped
In a tattered gauze of frosted breath
As it rose quickly past your beautiful face.
The face I knew I would never see again.

I stood there helpless as the shape of you,
disappeared into a thick white oblivion.
I remember an unbearable sadness coming over me,
and looking around to make sure no one was watching.
The same way I do when I slip on the ice
And look around.
Hoping no one saw me fall.